My thoughts on the Teen Choice Awards
It’s Sunday night and I am currently watching the chick who plays Hannah Montana scream “I am so exited…I love you guys….my album…Disney channel…blah blah blah” all while holding a giant surfboard. That’s correct I am watching the 2007 Teen Choice Awards.
Your first thought is probably, what the hell, but let me lay some ground for the “why the hell”…
I am living in a house with no cable.
The only other thing on is preseason football, extreme makeover home edition, and some crazy cable access ish.
I do this kind of stuff all the time so if you know me you’re not saying “what the hell”
Now that that is out the way let me enlighten on some interesting teen choice observations.
Observation 1- I hate High School Musical
Without a doubt the most popular person at these awards is Zach Affron, star of the made for TV movie High School Musical. For one, the dude is douche bag, does he not understand he has his fame from a made for television musical. I am sorry but this does not drive anybody into the upper echelon of my book. Secondly, he dropped the old “How you doin?” line on Jessica Alba when each one the hottie award. You know, the same line Joey from Friends used. Zach, this is arguably the hottest woman in the world, standing next to you and the only thing you can think to say is “How you doin?” Finally, Zach does not know it yet, but he has reached the zenith of his career. He’s not going to be popular to anyone but girls ages 10-15. That’s just how it’s going to be. The problem with Zach is he hasn’t come to this realization so he figures in ten years he’ll be the equivalent of Brad Pitt so he’s acting like it now. I hate this kid
Obs. 2 – The unintentional comedy at this thing is off the charts, hands down, better than a Justin Leonard high five at the Ryder Cup.
Here are some great unintentional comedic gems from what I’ve seen:
1. The Shop Boyz closed the show out with Party like a Rockstar. Nothing like a couple hundred teenage girls shouting the lyrics “My ice make ‘em go down quick like the Titanic.”
2. Ludacris and Chingy, who were announced as “Representing Hotlanta…” teamed with Greg Oden to present an award to a chick named Sophia Bush.
3. There have been at least three silent censor moments for inapproiate language and yet Superbad was nominated for Best Comedy. Ahh the irony of the Teen Choice awards.
4. Everyone performing looks pissed to be there (Zach Affron is an exception because he has reached mountaintop damnit).
5. Sum 41 presented an award.
6. Avril Lavigne sang her song got an award and her speech went roughly like this, “Thank you so much for this award, this, this (trying to read what award it is), this (still searching), this teen choice award for 2007 (GOT IT!)” You can tell Avril had this on her calendar for months.
Obs. 3- Hotties in the crowd
We all know that at major events the camera crews will zoom in on the most attractive people in the venue. Much of the time this is done by zooming in on the ladies. The teen choice awards are no different, except for the fact that all the girls are between the ages of 10 and 15. I wonder if any of these cameramen will end up “To Catch a Predator” at some point in time.
So there you have it, my thoughts on everything teen choice. Maybe next time you can pull up a chair next to me and watch. I’m thinking that Marky Mark Wahlberg needs to get nominated for something so that next year he can show up and kick Zach Affron’s ass. What am I talking about, Marky Mark wouldn’t come to theses awards and that my friends, is why Zach Affron is a douche bag.
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1 comment:
I watched High School Musical to see what all the fuss was about. You might be thinking "what the hell," but if you know me, like if you know Juan Pablo, you are not thinking that. The songs are catchy, I must admit. And Sac Effron ("Sac" he will be called, reminiscint of the "Zach" from Wedding Crashers) is a douche. It's undeniable. He's not good at basketball. He is way too skinny. Once you watch High School Musical 2, you will have no doubt that this kid is, in fact, a douche. He is probably 17 years old and has reached peak stardom, but not - my friends, NOT - peak douche-dom.
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