Lets Get Ready to Rumble

Whatever happened to……

So I decided I need some type of regularity in our posts here at eyeofthedog, something for the “hoi polloi” (I want to credit google word of the day for adding to my vocab...if you dont have it get and it will make you smarter..well maybe not but you drop the word lapidary on someone and see the wtf face) to look forward to weekly. After much deliberation I decided that every week we post a “Whatever Happened To….” (Insert person, celebrity, fad, or object here) blog. If you have any curiousities about a whatever happened to-- please post send them to eyeofthdog@gmail.com and we here at eyeofthdog will do our best to track it down for you. Onto this week’s edition.

Whatever Happened To Jock Jams?

This past weekend I took a trip to the Lou with my buddies Bcatt and Knock Down (the origin of the nickname Knock Down is a whole other post). On the drive home I recommended we put together a play list for my wedding this summer, in case you didn’t know Juan Pablo is teaming up with one crew chief for all future racing seasons to come; I’m stoked. We started thinking about songs, when from the back seat Knock Down hollers, “Jump Around” by House of Pain. Not only was this a great pick but Knock Down’s suggestion got me thinking about Jock Jams.

For those of who you missed middle school or were sucked into a pop culture-less bubble like so many in Western Michigan, Jock Jams was a series of cds released in the mid nineties featuring classic songs usually heard at sporting events. Volume 1 was realeased in 1995 and featured such classics such as “Whoomp! There it is” (Tag Team), Tootsee Roll (69 Boys), The Power (Snap), Unbelievable (EMF) and of course the ageless wonder Michael Buffer aka the guy whose key to fame is the slogan “Lets get ready to rumbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbllllllle!”. (sidebar: If anyone has lived the American Dream its Buffer, fame and fortune with little amount of work. I mean how many of us wish our job description was to utter one phrase in an enthusiastic manner before WWF matches. I know I do).*Sidebar to the sidebar. Michael Buffer’s website states: Since 1999, the "LGRTR®" brand has surpassed $400,000,000 in retail sales of its branded licensed products and ventures for its licensees internationally with many other products and ventures being developed for future release. And defines “Lets get ready to rumble!” (lgrtr) as: “LGRTR!”® is known as the “clarion call to the pure integrity of the competitive spirit”, promoting an “adrenalin boosting, positive will to win attitude!” in the hearts and minds of fans of all ages.*
Back to Jock Jams. Volumes 2 through 5 were released throughout the mid nineties followed up by Jock Jams: The All Star Jock Jams in 2001. As far as I can tell, besides a poor revival attempt in 2003 by ESPN with the release of Stadium Anthems: Music for the Fans in 2003, Jock Jams went to the new millennium graveyard to sit alongside other 1990s classics such as trapper keepers, snap bracelets, Baywatch and the Pontiac Transport (RIP Red Rocket).

The death of Jock Jams is quite sad to the children of the nineties. I strongly believe that without Jock Jams my generation would have missed out on such classics such as No Diggity (Blackstreet), Let Me Clear My Throat (D.J. Cool), the R.O.W.D.I.E cheer, Cotton Eye Joe (Rednex), and Knock Down’s personal fav, House of Pain’s “Jump Around.” A world with no Jump Around gives me chills and not just because I am a Wisconsin Badger fan. Jock Jams was more than a bunch of arena classics, it was a portal into the world of hip-hop for middle school white kids. Jock Jams was safe, at least safer than Dr. Dre, and our parents would let us buy it, giving us a taste of hip hop. (note: the last argument may be a stretch and bringing hip hop to my generation could actually be credited to the lyrical masterpiece Regulators by Warren G but for arguments sake I’m in the Jock Jams corner)

Jock Jams death also afflicted pain on the artists as well. Look what happened when Jock Jams went away. Erick Shrody (lead singer of House of Pain) turned into Everlast and created extremely depressing-almost-grunge-except-12-years-to-late-when-it-wasn’t-cool-anymore music. Clearly fueled by the fact that Jock Jams was no more, and had no reason to be the cream of the crop and to rise to the top. And now he’s probably shooting pigs cuz a pig is a cop because in the past Jock Jams gave him a reason not to. And he’s no longer a terminator like Arnold Schwarzenaager but has digressed and become boring much like Arnold did when he entered politics. We need him to pack it up and pack it in again. We need him to make us jump and touch the ceiling.

So whats the solution? How do we save artists and music fans of the Jock Jams generation as well as save the childeren of today from turning into musicians that front bands like Everlast and Creed. Well, come up with Jock Jams 7 of course. I have two or three friends who would hop on this in a second, most notably being Knock Down, and throw together a new and improved Jock Jams for all fans to enjoy. I mean its been 4 years since the last installment (6 years if you count all stars as a Jock Jams Greatest Hits album). Think of all the amazing stuff that has come up between now and then. In that time we have blessed with bands such as The Darkness, the Black Eyed Peas including a Fergie solo career, and the rise of Krunk Music. I also would propose to put a few tracks on Jock Jams 7 by athletes. Imagine listening to a disc that featured Lil John’s Throw it Up followed up by a Ron Artest rhyme which would stream into C-Webb flow and finally close out with the Diesel yelling ALLLLA KAAAZAAAAAAM!. It would be gold as my buddy Dicky likes to say, pure gold.

But to get back to the original question Jock Jams is dead, for now, and we are all worse off for it. Until then I suggest you go to amazon and purchase a box set of Jock Jams.
Keep it fresh y’all
-Juan Pablo and the Rocketfella-